


Revenge Is The Sweetest Thing

by AmazingNicola



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF), Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Cheating, Fluff, M/M, Mild Smut, Phandom Big Bang, Phandom Big Bang 2015
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-09
Updated: 2015-10-09
Packaged: 2018-04-25 00:55:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,026
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4940479
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AmazingNicola/pseuds/AmazingNicola
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dan finds out his boyfriend PJ is cheating on him with a guy called Phil Lester, after getting in contact with Phil he finds out about two other men that his boyfriend is cheating on him with, Ben and Andy. The four of them meet and plan to get revenge on PJ for what he has done, by embarrassing him in many different ways, filming it and uploading it to YouTube. But what happens then if Dan and Phil fall in love along the way?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Revenge Is The Sweetest Thing

**Author's Note:**

> This phanfiction is part of the Phandom Big Bang  
> If you want to check out the awesome beta who sorted through my mess of words you can check her out here: [ Rhi ](http://itsrhislifeandstuff.tumblr.com)  
> Also the phenomenal art done for this was done by [ Van ](http://partoneandtwo.deviantart.com) who is just amazing wow.  
> And also if you fancy checking out my blog it is here: [ Nicola ](http://dangoesupinpumpkin.tumblr.com)

ART:  

“Hey PJ, I’m just borrowing your laptop for a second, is that okay?” Dan shouts through the house.

“Yes of course Dan baby, it’s on the bed.” PJ hollers back.

Dan sat down behind the laptop, pulling it closer towards him.

“Peej what’s your password?” Dan shouts again.

“Oh it’s 3 0 0 1 Dan.” PJ shouts back.

“That’s strange” Dan thinks to himself, “what on Earth could that mean? It’s not my birthday, or his? Not our anniversary? Oh well it must be nothing.”

Dan inputted the password into the laptop and clicked onto Chrome, next he clicked on the Facebook tab that was already open.

Dan thought to himself “I guess I won’t bother logging into my own Facebook, I may as well use PJ’s. He won’t mind at all.”

Dan clicked onto the messages tab and was about to start typing out a new message to Carrie about their project at work, when he saw something he didn’t expect to see. ‘I love you too baby’ sent at 12:48 to Phil Lester.

“I’m sure it’s nothing.” Dan thought while clicking onto the tab, he knew that it was invading PJ’s privacy, but come on, Dan was curious.

Dan spent 5 minutes reading through the chat and he was outraged, who does this Phil think he is? PJ is his boyfriend, not this Phil Lester’s!

“I miss you baby.”

“Want to hang out later? I can come over at 8.”

“I will never stop loving you.”

“Haha then what ;)”

Dan was outraged. He quickly messaged Carrie like he planned and copied down Phil’s Facebook details, determined to get to the bottom of whatever PJ was doing with this Phil guy.

*Later that day*

Dan logged onto his Facebook and clicked on the search bar. He typed in Phil Lester, “ah there he is” Dan thought to himself as he found Phil’s account. He clicked add friend and decided to snoop through Phil’s pictures. There weren’t many he could see as he wasn’t a friend yet but from he could see, this Phil guy was good looking, he wasn’t surprised that PJ is dating him as well, Dan obviously just isn’t enough and this guy is gorgeous.

*boop*

Dan looked at his notifications and saw that Phil had added him and sent him a message saying ‘Um hi I may be wrong but I don’t think I know you?’

‘Hi you don’t know me sorry but hear me out please’ Dan typed and sent back, awaiting a response.

‘Sure’ Phil replied.

‘So my names Dan, and yesterday I borrowed my boyfriend PJ’s laptop to send a quick message to a friend, and I used his Facebook, but apparently he’s been flirting with you. I was wondering if you know I exist or is this some plot to get back at me for something that I’ve done and managed to forget about.’ Dan typed, already nervous of what reply Phil would send him.

‘Seriously? I’ve been on and off with PJ for two years and he’s never mentioned you! How long have you been with him?’ came the reply.

‘4 years, in fact until now I was pretty certain he was planning a proposal because he was sneaking around a lot. I guess he was sneaking out to see you.’ Dan sent.

‘I only see him once a week, normally Thursdays.’ Phil sent back.

‘He goes out most nights, so who else is he seeing?’ Dan typed. ‘I think we should meet and talk in real life, when are you free?’

‘I could meet you tonight? My address is 8 Abbotts Street, swing by around 8?’ Phil told Dan.

Dan smiled; ‘Sure.’ tonight should be interesting.

*Time jump to 7:45*

“Hey Peej, I’m going out to meet some old school friends. See you later K?” Dan shouted as he stood by the front door of the apartment.

“Yeah sure, text me when you’re on your way back ok?” PJ said.

“Cool, see you later.” Dan shouted and he was out the door, he had looked up Phil’s address earlier on and realised it would take him 15 minutes to walk there, so he set off, thinking about what he would say and what they were going to do.

And before he knew it Dan was stood outside the doorway of his boyfriend's other boyfriend. He knocked on the door and waited, before he knew it there was a tall black haired man stood in front of him.

“Wow, I see why PJ chose this guy.” Dan thought to himself, his startling blue eyes shone through his pitch black fringe and his black jeans clutched at his legs perfectly.

“Dan, right? Come in.” Phil said beckoning Dan in. Dan looked around the room as he was shown in. He saw pictures of Phil and PJ on the wall mixed in with family pictures of pictures with people Dan didn’t know.

“Sit, let’s sort this out.” Phil said, pointing to the chair next to Dan and sat down in an armchair across from him. Dan took a seat in the chair Phil had pointed at and looked up at Phil. “So PJ is your boyfriend?”

“Yup, or at least he was, he won’t be for much longer.” Dan replied bitterly.

“No wait, I was thinking about this and I looked at his Facebook and I think I might have found the other two people he is sleeping with.” Phil said.

“Seriously? That’s amazing! Show me them?!” Dan said excitedly.

“I hope you don’t mind but I actually got in contact with them and invited them over, they should be here any minute.” Phil said smugly.

“That’s awesome then, we will be able to sort this mess even easier!” Dan said.

A knock at the door echoes through the living room.

“That must be them, I’ll get it.” Phil said and got up from his seat, disappearing down the hallway.

Dan took this opportunity to properly process what was happening, just 6 hours ago Dan thought he was in a committed relationship, and now he knows that his beloved boyfriend was sleeping with three other guys behind his back?

Phil arrived back in the room with two other guys behind him, who both sat gingerly down on the sofa.

“So let’s all introduce ourselves to the group.” Phil teased, “I’ll go first, hi I’m Phil, I’m 28 and I’ve been with PJ Liguori for 2 years.” Phil then looked at Dan.

Dan sighed and said “Hello I’m Dan, I’m 24 and I’ve been with Peej for 4 and a half years, I’m pretty certain I was PJ’s main guy but now who knows.”

“Awesome Dan, Ben you next?” Phil said.

“Um hi I’m Ben, I’m 25 and I have been with PJ for 6 or 7 months? I don’t really know, but not long.” Ben said.

“And finally, Andy.”

“Hi I’m Andy, I’m 21 and I’ve been with PJ since I was 18, so 3 years.”

That all clarified it for Dan; he was the first, the main boy, the one who met the parents. Apparently he was the special one, he didn’t know why because all three of the men sat around him were better looking than him.”

“And we all mean the same PJ right? This would be embarrassing if we all were thinking of different people.” Phil laughed, “What is PJ’s address?”

“43 Chemical Road.” Dan, Ben and Andy said in unison.

“So yes we are, we need to do something about this, I’m thinking revenge.” Phil said. The men all looked at each other and nodded.

“Sounds good.” Andy said. “Anyone got any ideas on what we could do?”

“He’s lactose intolerant right? Why don’t I ‘accidently’ give him proper milk instead of his lactose free milk, he goes all blotchy and disgusting for a couple of days, which will be great as he has a job interview in a few days!” Dan suggests.

“That’s great! Also I have a YouTube channel we could post some of our revenge plans on there?” Phil asked.

“That would be funny, maybe not this prank but the next one?” Ben said.

“Yeah I agree, not this one but the next one definitely!” Andy interjects.

“OK cool, so we’re all sorted, Dan can do the first part of revenge and then we meet again to discuss the next part? Same time next week?” Phil said.

“That’s fine with me.”

“Sure.”

“Cool.” Came the replies.

The four of them got up and headed towards the front door, discussing how funny the prank would be.

“I’ll see you next time boys, I’ll text you details and pictures.” Dan said as Phil wished them goodnight and shut the door.

*Time jump to the next evening*

“Dan would you be an angel and make me a cup of tea?” PJ said to the boy sat opposite him.

“Sure babe, milk one sugar?” Dan enquired.

“Course, love you!” PJ shouted after the boy as he walked down the hallway to the kitchen.

“Time to put this plan into action.” Dan thought to himself. ‘PJ just asked for a cup of tea, revenge phase one starts now.’ Dan sent to the other three boys and turned his attention to the kettle. He flicked the switch and grabbed two cups from the cupboard. He poured the normal milk into both cups and added the teabags, he then added one sugar to one cup and two to the other. The kettle quickly finished and he poured water into each cup, stirring the cups and dumping the teabags in the bin. He walked back the hallway to the lounge where PJ was sat browsing the internet.

“Here you go.” Dan said, handing PJ the green mug.

“Thank you honey.” PJ took a sip and set it down next to him. Dan sat back down at his laptop and pulled his phone out; watching PJ takes sips from the tea. ‘He doesn’t seem to notice any difference, phase one complete.’ Dan sent to the others, and takes a gulp from his own tea, smiling to himself.

*Later that day*

“DAN!” came the shout through the house. Dan suppressed a laugh and headed in the direction of the shout.

“Yes my dear?” Dan said sarcastically. Dan then catches sight of PJ’s red and puffy face, “Oh my! What did you do?”

“I don’t know! Do you have any idea?” PJ said.

“It could be a reaction to something? It looks like an allergic reaction of some sort.” Dan said, trying not to be too obvious.

“Probably, oh well, it will go down in a couple of days I guess.” PJ said, poking at his face, “hopefully it will go down before that interview on Thursday.”

“Hopefully yeah.” Dan replied, trying not to laugh.

“Great, oh well I’m going in the shower.” PJ said.

“Sure thing, I’ll be in the living room.” Dan said and wandered out into the living room. Dan held in his laughter until he heard the shower running, and as soon as he did he was in fits of laughter. He quickly dialled Phil’s number and waited for him to pick up.

“Hey Dan!” Phil said through the phone.

“Oh god Phil you should see him! His face is bright red and his cheeks are puffing out, oh my god it’s amazing. And even better he doesn’t even suspect it’s me! This has gone perfectly!” Dan laughed.

“That’s awesome! Take some pictures and send us them K?” Phil said excitedly.

“Sure, I’m gonna text Ben and Andy and tell them it went perfectly, oh wait, I think I just heard the shower stop, I’ll talk to you later.” Dan said quietly.

“Later Dan.” Phil said and hung up.

PJ wandered into the room and sat on Dan’s thighs.

“Up for a bit of fun?” PJ asked, lust filling his eyes.

“Sure babe.” PJ lead Dan to the bedroom and pushed him onto the bed.

“Close your eyes baby.” PJ instructed Dan, and Dan did.

*Time jump to Sunday*

“You should have seen his face though, it was amazing!” Dan finished telling his story.

“What about his job interview?” Ben enquired.

“Oh, yeah apparently he didn’t get it, he said they took one look at his face and he knew they had already decided not to give him the job.” Dan said, “I feel like I should feel bad, but after what he’s done to us I don’t at all.”

“That’s a good attitude Dan! Now onto the next plan. Any ideas?” Phil asked.

“We could set his dick on fire?” Andy suggested.

“Feel like he might notice us doing that, plus we can’t upload that to YouTube!” Phil said, laughing.

“Set a load of minions loose in his house!” Ben proposed.

“Last time I checked minions don’t exist, so that probably won’t work. You know that t-shirt that he has that he really treasures? We could give it to charity or something? And film us doing it and secretly film his reaction? Or we could break it and act like it isn’t that big of a deal?” Phil suggested

“Hey that sounds good! I could go through the house and get rid of a load of things for charity so maybe he won’t notice that the t-shirt is gone for a while!” Dan added excitedly.

“Cool so it’s decided, film it best you can Dan, the quality doesn’t matter too much and email me anything as soon as it’s filmed. Now who’s up for pizza?”

“So long as it’s Hawaiian!” Ben said excitedly.

*The next day*

PJ was out, probably at one of the others, so phase two of the plan went into action.

“Hey guys!” Dan said into the camera, “You won’t know who I am but I’m guessing Phil will make a video in due course explaining what is happening. So today I’m about to get rid of my cheating boyfriend’s favourite top. Let’s go!”

Dan pointed the camera at the drawers and pulled out the limited edition green Pokémon top Dan had bought PJ two years ago, PJ wore that top constantly and told anyone who he could that it was his favourite shirt, not only because Dan bought it him and it was Pokémon themed, but because it had come with a signed card from the creator of Pokémon, Satoshi Tajiri and there was only 30 of them in the world, Dan had worked so hard to find that shirt and he almost felt sad to throw it out so easily, he almost wanted to keep it for himself, but he didn’t because he knew it would remind him of PJ.

“This top is really important to PJ, there are only 30 of them in the world and it came with a signed card from the creator of Pokémon. If anyone of you wants it it’ll be in the Reading branch of British Heart Foundation, enjoy! Dan smiled sweetly at the camera and shut it off.

Dan picked out a couple of other things from the apartment, put them in a carrier bag and head out the door to the charity shop down the road. After a five minute walk down he was in the doorway and entering the shop. He headed straight to the back of the shop and the tills, where there was no queue.

“And now you see my dears,” Dan said into the camera, “this is what happens when you cheat on Dan Howell!” He turned to the cashier.

“Hello, I have some clothes to donate, my boyfriend cheated on me and I’m giving away his favourite clothes to people who deserve it more.” Dan said proudly.

“Of course!” The woman behind the till said, “We really appreciate it.”

“The green Pokémon is worth quite a bit so be careful with it, quite a few people would be really happy to get their hands on it.” Dan laughed.

“Sure, would you like a slice of cake? We have some back here and I feel like you need some right now, plus you’ve given us some clothes!” The woman asked.

“No thanks, I’m fine, I should probably get home before my soon to be ex realises I’m gone so he doesn’t know I’ve done this.”

“OK honey, if you ever need anything just pop back in.” And with that Dan walked out the door grinning.

“And there you go! I’m looking forward to when PJ finds out that’s gone.” Dan said to the camera before shutting it off and setting off back home, texting Phil, Ben and Andy as he goes.

*The next day*

“Dan?” Dan heard from the bedroom, he smiled to himself before turning on the small camera hidden in the bedroom by the remote he had in his hand.

“Yes Peej?” Dan said, his voice sickly sweet.

“Do you know where my special top is? You know the Pokémon one? I want to wear it today and I can’t find it.” PJ said.

Dan levelled his voice, “Oh that one? Yeah it was looking a bit threadbare so I took it along with a load of other clothes down to the charity shop.” Dan said innocently.

“What? Why!” PJ shouted, “You knew I loved that top, why would you do that.”

“I didn’t realise it meant that much to you! Peej it looked like it was falling apart it had to go.” Dan shouted back.

“Dan you knew that shirt meant so much to me. How could you.” PJ’s voice dropping to a whisper towards the end.

“I’m sorry Peej, but it’s gone.” Dan snuck a peek at the camera to check if it had filmed PJ’s outburst, hoping he wouldn’t notice, but sadly for Dan PJ noticed Dan’s glance toward the shelves and decided to investigate what was up there as soon as Dan left the room.

“Look PJ I need to go and make dinner for tonight, but we’ll find you something that can be just as special.” Dan said.

“Fine.” PJ said, willing Dan out of the room so he could look what was up on that shelf. Dan walked down the hallway and headed into the kitchen to make dinner, grinning to himself.

But while Dan was texting the others to tell them the plan had worked PJ was looking on the shelf for something out of the ordinary, it took him a minute to find it, and when he did he gasped. Dan had filmed the whole argument! He picked up the camera to see that it was no longer recording but was on, Dan must have turned it off somehow. PJ was confused about why Dan had filmed it, why would Dan purposely give away something he truly loved. Then he remembered the blotchy face incident from the week before, did Dan have something to do with that as well? Why would Dan do this?

Then it hit PJ. Dan had borrowed his Facebook just before this all started, he must have seen the messages to Phil, or to Ben, or Andy! PJ’s face dropped and he realised he had to do something about this. He needed Dan in his life, admittedly he needed all four boys but he definitely needed Dan. PJ pondered what to do, Dan obviously knew what was happening, but did the others? Probably not, Dan wouldn’t get other people involved right? Still PJ needed to do something just in case he had got in touch with any of the others.

PJ walked down the hallway to where Dan was dancing round the kitchen to the new Panic! At the Disco song.

“Hey Dan can we talk real quick?” PJ said. All the colour drained from Dan’s face.

“Sure.” Dan replied shakily, sitting down at the table.

“I want to tell you something, and you won’t be able to look at me the same way after this.” PJ said, “The thing is I love you so much, in fact I was planning on proposing to you soon! But then I guess I’ve ruined the surprise now.” PJ rambled.

“Just get to the point Peej, you’re making me worried.” Dan laughed shakily.

“It’s hard to say, OK I’m just going to say it. I’ve been cheating on you, but I’ve seen the wrong in my ways, I’ve realised that you are the most important person in my life and I just love you so much.” PJ said, refusing to meet Dan’s eyes from shame.

“You’ve been cheating on me? How could you? Who with, for how long?” Dan said, acting like he didn’t know all the answers already.

“For 3 years, and with three other guys, I’m so sorry Dan. I don’t expect you to forgive me but please, remember that I love you so much and you are the most important person in my life.” A tear fell down PJ’s cheek.

“It’s OK, at least you had the power to admit it, I forgive you baby, but please don’t do that to me again.” Dan said, believing that PJ was completely sincere, not noticing the smirk that spread across PJ’s lips as he spoke.

“I love you so much Dan, I love you so much.” PJ repeated, pressing kisses into Dan’s hair.

*Time jump*

“Guys I think we should call it all off.” Dan said, he was sat back in Phil’s lounge with the other guys.

“What why?” Phil enquired, sounding shocked.

“PJ came clean to me last week, he told me about you guys, and I forgave him, he’s starting afresh and wants to be with me. So I don’t think we should go ahead with the final prank.” Dan said, looking up to see a room full of eyes staring at him like he had three heads.

“Um guys, he said that to me as well, and I forgave him.” Andy piped up. Dan’s head shot up.

“Wait what?” Dan asked.

“Yeah he said that to me as well, said I was the most important person in his life and all that shit.” Andy admitted.

“He said that to me as well, I didn’t forgive him though.” Ben said.

“Same actually, he told me about it all but I kicked him out.” Phil said, “See Dan, he is still manipulating us.”

“Oh.” Dan said, he didn’t know what to do, he felt so stupid for taking PJ back at a moment’s notice. “So he’s done that to us all, I feel like we need to go bigger than filling his bath with dildos. We need to embarrass him so much he never forgets it. Any ideas?”

“Well first off, Andy and Dan, you need to keep dating him, you are our only links to him now.” Phil said, “I have an idea. Why doesn’t Dan fake go out with Andy for a bit and then take him home and fake having sex so that PJ can walk in and see, giving him a taste of his own medicine?”

“That sounds like a good idea! But why don’t I do it with you Phil instead?” Dan really wanted the chance to go on a date with Phil, even if it is fake.

“Um then Andy could do the same with Ben, and we could mess with him twice as much.” Dan said, sure that would cover up what he just said.

“I think that might be a bit much, one revenge plot should be enough, but me and you could do it if you prefer?” Phil said, sensing Dan’s unease.

“If you want.” Dan said, hoping Phil would be up to it.

“Sure, we could go on a fake date on Wednesday and then you could bring me home and we could then fake having sex loud enough that PJ will find us!” Phil exclaimed, obviously proud of his plan.

“Why Wednesday?” Ben interjected.

“Cause that’s the day Andy would normally meet him right? So if you invite him over for just coffee or something, no sleeping with him though! Then Andy can text us telling us when PJ is heading back and we can get going.” Phil explained.

“Sounds good to me.” Ben said, the other boys nodding along.

“Cool. So Dan what time are you picking me up?” Phil said, winking.

Dan blushed, what is he supposed to do? He liked Phil more than a friend and he has to take him on a date. “Uh I will pick you up at 5pm then? And we can go to Nandos or something?”

“You gonna have to go classier than that to win my heart Dan.” Phil said, a grin escaping onto his face.

“There’s a new trendy restaurant opened up the road from my place, we could go there instead?” Dan said.

“Sure, 5pm right? I’ll see you there. Now guys, if you don’t mind I have some work to do.” Phil said.

The three of them headed for the door laughing about the plan.

“This is going to be so funny, don’t forget to film it Dan!” Ben exclaimed.

“Don’t worry, I will!” Dan said, “Anyway guys I need to go this way, I’ll see you next week.”

“See you Dan.” Ben and Andy said.

*Time jump to Wednesday*

“I uploaded it the video on Tuesday, it already has 10 thousand views!” Phil said proudly.

“Seriously? How many subscribers do you have?” Dan enquired.

“100 thousand, did I never mention that?” Phil said.

“No! You’re practically internet famous dude.” Dan said, his mind blown.

“Apparently so, did you know I met Fall Out Boy earlier this year, March I think it was.” Phil said.

“Oh my god! I love Fall Out Boy! I bet that was the best moment ever.” Dan said, excitement spilling through his voice.

“Yeah it was, I’m going to Reading and Leeds as well this summer, and I’ve been given a backstage pass so I can go interview Muse, which will definitely be the best moment of my life.” Phil said.

“Wait. Muse. Oh my fucking god. No way. I can’t believe you do YouTube properly, or that you had such an amazing music taste!” Dan said gleefully.

“Why what is your favourite band?” Phil asked.

“Muse closely followed by My Chemical Romance, obviously.” Dan said.

“Which is your favourite Muse album? And your favourite My Chemical Romance era?” Phil asked.

“Origins of Symmetry, and probably Danger Days but I really love Bullets as well.”

“Good choices, I agree with you completely actually, not that I don’t love the other eras but Danger Days in just superior. Plus Origins of Symmetry is just a work of art!” Phil said excitedly.

“Of course! Matt Bellamy is just a God I swear.” Dan said, excited that Phil was just so perfect, if he hadn’t had feelings for Phil before he definitely did now.

“How are you just so perfect for me right now? If it wasn’t for this mess that PJ has caused us, I would totally ask you out.” Phil said, smiling to himself.

Dan’s heart stopped for just a second, Phil would actually ask him out? So Phil is saying he must return at least some of the feelings Dan had for him. Or maybe he said it just as an offhand comment.

“Dan?” Phil said, Dan realised he had been staring at Phil for a few seconds.

“Haha yeah if it wasn’t for this mess we could totally date.” Dan said the fake laughter evident in his voice.

“Dan, are you okay? You sound off.” Phil said worriedly.

“It’s just, I don’t know if it’s because PJ has messed me up or some other reason, but I think I really like you and, and, I just don’t know what to do.” Dan said, his voice dropping towards the end.

“Dan there’s nothing wrong with that! In fact I have been thinking about you in a similar way recently, I don’t think we can do this right now but after all this is done we could try dating? Just the two of us? No complications?” Phil reasoned.

“That sounds amazing to me, but when do you think this will be over? I’m willing to wait for you but not forever!” Dan said.

“Wow aren’t you so romantic! And in terms of when this will be done, maybe a couple of weeks? We need to film the event tonight and then it will take some time to edit. Then we just wait for PJ to find the videos we’ve made, maybe direct him towards it somehow. I’m thinking  an anonymous ask on Tumblr personally.”

“That sounds good! He needs to see the videos for this to be the ultimate revenge. Now are you ready to go? We should head back to mine and PJ’s place to start this all off; he will be home in an hour or so.” Dan said, excited to the plan into action.

“Sure, lead the way.” Phil said.

“Wait, have you never been to our house? Didn’t you think it was weird that after over 2 years you hadn’t been to your boyfriend’s house?” Dan said, shocked.

“I hadn’t thought of it that way before, I guess we were more physical than emotional. I never felt the need to go to his place; we used to just go to mine.” Phil said.

“Then I guess I have to show you the way, let’s go.” Dan said, getting out of his chair and setting off down the road.

“I can’t believe you ship brallon more than ryden though, ryden is just common sense!” Phil said, the mock anger spreading through his voice.

*Time jump*

“But brallon is so much better! And they are together now; at least Dallon didn’t leave Brendon like Ryan did.” Dan said bluntly.

“You did not just go there.” Phil stopped and turned to Dan.

“Oh I did, Dallon is better for Brendon than Ryan will ever be.” Dan said smugly, knowing he was winding Phil up.

“I will fight you, Ryan was perfect for him, he will come back for Brendon soon!” Phil protested, “You’re just jealous you can’t have Brendon.”

“So are you!” Dan laughed, “Anyway this is it, PJ will be home in about 20 minutes so we can set up.”

“Let’s go.”

Dan led Phil through the house to the bedroom that him, and PJ shared.

“This is it, for the t-shirt prank I put the camera up on this shelf” Dan pointed to the shelf, “and angled it towards the bed but if you can see somewhere else you think will work better then be sure to tell me.” Dan said.

“Nah that shelf looks fine, I actually have two cameras with me, one to focus on us and for focusing on the doorway for when PJ comes in.” Phil said, putting the cameras into position and covering them up so just the lenses were sticking out. “Now we need to decide what we’re going to be doing when PJ walks in, and what we’re going to say, any ideas?”

“Well first off are you, um, a top or a bottom?” Dan stuttered.

“Top, I thought PJ is a bottom anyway?” Phil laughed.

“Actually I’m a bottom, so I guess PJ uses both of us to get different things.” Dan laughed nervously.

“Oh right, I guess, so that makes it easier if I’m a bottom and you’re a top, it will be more believable. You could be on top of me and maybe shirtless, and when he comes in you could be pulling off my jeans? Or whatever.” Dan said, trying to act cool.

“You’ve definitely thought about this! But that sounds cool to me, what are you thinking we say to PJ when he comes in?” Phil said, laughing at Dan’s eagerness.

“I think it’ll be more of a spur of the moment thing? If we plan it might look weird.” Dan said.

“To be honest it’s going to look weird no matter what we do, what’s weirder than walking in on your boyfriend sleeping with one of your other boyfriends?” Phil sniggered.

“Caterpillars. What’s their purpose? They’re weirder than this situation.” Dan retaliated.

“So if a caterpillar walked in on his caterpillar boyfriend about to have sex with another one of his caterpillar boyfriends, that would be the weirdest thing?”  Phil said, raising an eyebrow at Dan.

“Yup, especially if there was some maple syrup involved. That would be really weird.” Dan said, “Anyway we’re going off topic, I’m thinking we just go with the flow of the conversation.”

“Sounds like a good idea.” Phil said. He pushed Dan onto the bed and smirked, climbing on top on Dan and settling down on his hips.

“Well I could get used to this.” Dan laughed; he flung his arms round Phil’s shoulders and giggled. “So you need to lose your shirt before PJ gets back.”

“If you want me to lose my shirt then all you need to do is ask.” Phil pulled his shirt over his head and reached forward to help Dan slip his over his head, Phil looked down at Dan and took in the sight in front of him. “You’re so beautiful.”

“If you think I am you should try looking in a mirror Mr Stubble!” Dan stroked Phil’s face and pulled him down so they were nose to nose.

“I wish we were in a different situation, I wish I had met you in a different situation, in the street, or maybe on holiday somewhere, or even in a coffee shop in some cliché story. Why did we have to meet in such an awkward way? Couldn’t we of met in a way that meant we aren’t wrapped up in this crazy scheme to embarrass someone we both thought we could trust. I can’t believe this is our lives, couldn’t we just live a happy life with a kitten instead of this plotting and sneaking around?” Phil ranted.

“I wish Phil, but after this we can do that, but my only condition is that the cat is called Dynamite and that it is jet black.” Dan laughed.

“Fine, I would have gone for something more manly like Thor or Dragon but if that’s the only condition for a happy life, I’m cool with that.” Phil said, laughing. “Now shut up and kiss me.”

“If you insist.” And with that Dan pulled Phil by his collar down and onto his lips but just before their lips touched Dan said, “And for the record, Dynamite is a very manly name for a cat.” And with that they were kissing like there was no tomorrow. Phil’s tongue swiped across Dan’s lips and suddenly they were fully making out. Dan heard the front door to the apartment swing open and a “Dan?” shouted through the place.

“Oh my god.” Dan fake moaned, smirking up at Phil. Phil held back a giggle and smiled down at Dan, listening as the footsteps changed direction and headed towards the bedroom.

“Dan? Are you in there?” PJ called out.

“Oh yeah Phil, don’t stop.” Dan said, holding back his laughter.

“Yes Dan.” Phil moaned through his giggles.

“Dan? What’s going on?” PJ shouted through the apartment, worry apparent in his voice as he raced towards the door. Dan and Phil just had time to break apart and for Phil to grab Dan’s zipper,  just before PJ burst through the door.

“What the fuck is going on in here, Dan how could you?” PJ said, sounding heartbroken.

“Oh hey PJ, isn’t this a weird sight? I bet it looks something similar to what you’ve been doing for 3 years right?” Dan said.

“But I told you, I stopped that, I owned up to it all, I promised to you that I wouldn’t do it again.” PJ said.

“That’s funny isn’t it PJ, I’m certain you said the same thing to me actually.” Phil said, smirking at PJ.

PJ face paled and looked at Phil.

“Why are you here? Dan baby what’s happening?” PJ said, his eyes flicking between the two men on the bed, confusion evident in his face.

“It’s funny isn’t it Peej? You came clean to me about the cheating last week, and I believed you would change! Too bad I was already in contact with all of your side hoes, who all told me you’d said the same thing to them, funny isn’t it when your elaborate plans don’t work out. You didn’t think that your innocent and oblivious boyfriend would realise that you were cheating did you? I bet you didn’t count on me seeing the messages to Phil and tracking him down, or us meeting and discovering Ben and Andy, or us realising you had apologised to us all but tried to keep a relationship with us all. So Peej? What do you have to say?” Dan said.

“I guess I doubted your intelligence Dan, I always thought you were stupid but apparently you’re smarter than I give you credit for, you aren’t as thick as you come across. But I still have Andy, he forgave me, I don’t need you.” PJ sneered.

“Andy knows what’s been happening; did you even just listen to me? In fact I think he likes your other side-hoe Ben, so you’re all alone. And to make things worse we’ve filmed all this, including you owning up to cheating. So maybe it’ll be hard for you to find someone anyway.” Dan smiled sweetly at PJ and glanced at the camera in the corner, the red light flashing. PJ’s eyes followed Dan’s and he soon saw the camera. PJ stomped over to the camera and shut it off, throwing it to the other side of the room.

“Oh Peej, throwing a fit makes you look even worse, what’s wrong with me and Dan having some fun? I mean that’s what you and I used to do, so why can’t me and Dan? Come on Peej, don’t be a spoil sport. Besides this is only revenge baby, this isn’t anything meaningful like what I thought me and you had, this is just revenge my love. Get used to it.” Phil said, Dan stared at him in awe, wondering where this all came from.

“Fine, I hope you’re happy together, now I’d like to kindly ask that you both get the fuck out of my apartment.” PJ said, a false grin on his face as he held open the door.

“Oh no PJ, we aren’t done. I thought you might like to know how else we’ve ruined your life. Well first came the milk, oh man that was amazing, watching your face swell up because I ‘accidently’ gave you proper milk. Then came the Pokémon shirt, I took that to the British Heart Foundation down the road, they really appreciated it actually. The woman behind the till offered me cake because of my amazing story of the cheating boyfriend. Then there’s the putting this on YouTube for any potential boyfriend of yours to see, and don’t worry if you start dating anyone else we’ll be sure to send this to them.” Dan smiled.

“Dan you forgot the bath thing.” Phil said sniggering.

“Oh yes, we filled the bath tub with dildos, plus we figured that, because you are obviously going to be alone for the foreseeable future, we’d order you some more, with your credit card of course, so expect a box of around 30 sex toys to arrive in the next couple of days.” Dan smirked, “Well love, don’t you want to thank us?”

PJ lunged at Dan, knocking Phil off him and off the bed. PJ grabbed Dan and slapped him round the face.

“How dare you do this to me, after everything I’ve done for you?” PJ said through gritted teeth.

“What cheat on me and sneak around behind my back for the majority of our relationship? I think, seeing the circumstances, what we’ve done is completely justified to be honest.” Dan said, pushing PJ off him and getting off the bed.

“So PJ, we’re gonna go now, and in four years we’ll try to remember to invite you to the wedding, because of course, you introduced us to each other with your sick ways. So even if we forget to invite you, we will make sure to mention you.” Phil said, laughing as PJ’s face dropped more and more as he realised he’d been beaten.

“Fine, just leave please.” PJ said, exasperated.

“We will, don’t forget the camera Phil baby.” Dan laughed as he walks towards the door.

Phil picked up the camera from the carpet where PJ had knocked and waved to PJ.

“Bye bye Peej, have fun with your life.” Phil said while laughing , “Hopefully you’ll get over these cheating ways, but to be honest, I don’t care if you don’t or not.”

Phil picked up his phone from by his side where it had been, and clicked stop on the camera.

“Oh and PJ? Do you really think I would only use one camera?” Phil laughed.

PJ stared helplessly after the two as they walked out the door of the room and down the corridor laughing together.

“Oh and Peej baby, you might want to check your cupboard, yesterday I ate all your Nutella and magic stars, so you might need some more, or not really I couldn’t care less.” Dan shouted down the corridor to PJ as he stood in the doorway to the bedroom watching the couple leave.”

Dan and Phil headed out the door to the apartment and down the street towards Phil’s apartment.

“Andy! You and Ben need to get down to my place, me and Dan need to tell you all about what happened.” Phil said down the phone, laughing. Phil put the phone down and grabbed Dan’s hand, looking him in the eye.

“Too bad we missed the end of the rant though; watching PJ lose faith in getting us was so amazing.” Dan said.

“Yeah about that, I actually filmed the whole thing on my phone, so yes we got it, we can watch it all later when we edit it.” Phil said.

“Seriously! Oh my god that’s amazing!” Dan said happily.

Dan and Phil wandered down the street talking about the editing of the video and what it’ll be like when the internet saw the reaction.

“Come on baby, Andy and Ben just texted me, they’re on their way over so we can show them the video!” Phil said.

Phil pushed the door open and stood back for Dan to enter. Dan plopped himself down on the sofa and looked up at Phil as he sat down next to him and put his arm round him.

“That was actually amazing, I can’t wait to get that online, it’s gonna be so funny.” Dan said between laughs.

“That reminds me, I want to record a bit to put in afterwards to explain all this.” Phil said.

“Sure, want me to be in it?” Dan asked.

“Course, you were the reason that all this happened!” Phil said.

Phil pulled out his camera, turned it on and pressed record.

“Hey guys! I know this video was a bit different to the normal style that goes up on this channel so I thought I’d explain what it was all about. So I’ve been dating this guy PJ for about 2 years and recently this guy” Phil gestured at Dan, “got in contact with me and told me that he was also PJ’s boyfriend. We arranged to meet up and discuss the situation but I thought there was more to it all. After doing some digging I found 2 other guys, called Ben and Andy, that PJ was also with. I invited them over and we talked about what was happening. What you just saw in this video and my last video was us getting back on PJ for what he has done to us. We did prank him before these as well but we didn’t film that one.” Phil said to the camera.

“It was so fun to prank PJ though, he started screaming at us in the end!” Dan interjected.

“It was amazing, plus I wouldn’t have met this cutie if it wasn’t for PJ, so thanks Peej, your ex-boyfriend is now my actual boyfriend.” Phil said grinning. Dan whipped round to face him.

“Are you asking me out?” Dan said, a wide smile slipping onto his face.

“Uh yes?” Phil said. Dan smiled and wrapped his arms round Phil’s neck.

“Sure you loser, I’ll go out with you!” Dan smiled. His brain was going hotwire. That cute boy he met a few weeks ago through his cheating ex is now his boyfriend!

“Awesome, thank you for watching this video! Share it or whatever, it’d be awesome for as many people to see what happens to cheaters who decide to cross Phil Lester. Now if you don’t mind I rather fancy making out with this cute boy next to me.” Phil smiled to the camera and turned it off. “So Dan? Ben and Andy should be here in around 20 minutes, what do you want to do?”

Dan laughed, “I heard a suggestion of making out, I fancy trying that one actually.” Phil surged forward and pressed his lips to Dan’s , both their eyes fluttering closed. Then the sound of the doorbell sounded through the apartment. Dan checked his phone to see five voicemails, nine missed calls and six texts.

“Guys hurry up! I just got a load of messages from PJ, these will be so funny.”

Ben and Andy raced down the hall and jumped onto the sofa next to Dan, Phil followed behind them already recording and talking to the camera.

“And let’s see what PJ has to say now!” Phil finished before turning the camera to Dan. Dan smiled brightly before clicking call on his voicemail and hitting loud speaker.

“Hey Dan, I just thought I would say that if you fancy coming back sometime I would be more than happy to forgive you, so yes give me a call and come home soon OK?” I love you. PJ’s voice came through the phone. The four of them burst into laughter at PJ’s message.

“Delete.” Dan said while clicking the three button, telling his phone to delete the message.

“NEXT MESSAGE.” Came the response, “Hey baby, this is just in case the last message doesn’t go through, even though I only sent that last one a couple of minutes ago. But if you change your mind and regret what you’ve done you can come back. Love you.”

“This is amazing.” Ben said laughing.

“Another?” Dan asked while clicking the delete button.

“Of course!” Andy said.

“NEXT MESSAGE. Dan this is getting ridiculous, you’ve made your point, now just come home OK? We can talk about this shit or whatever but seriously stop taking things too far and just come back. Love you.”

“Oh Dan, just go home, you’re obviously wrong!” Ben imitates through his laughter.

“Next Dan come on!” Phil said laughing, Dan clicked delete and pressed play on the next message.

“NEXT MESSAGE. Dan seriously what the fuck are you playing at? You know you can’t live without me, just come home for fucks sake. OK? See you soon.” PJ said through the phone, anger obvious in his voice.

“He’s getting angry now, you’d better get home soon Dan!” Phil said laughing. Dan hit delete and let the next message play out.

“NEXT MESSAGE. Dan I’m not going to tell you again. Get your ass home and we can sort this out. If you don’t then consider us over. Bye”

“Oh PJ. We were done when I walked out of that apartment earlier, you don’t get to choose when we end.” Dan said to the camera for PJ to see when he inevitably watches the video back later on, with a serious look on his face, before bursting into laughter along with the others.

“Oh wait guys, my phones ringing.” Phil said pulling his phone out of his pocket. “It’s PJ, lets answer and see what he has to say.” Phil pressed answer and put the phone on loud speaker.

“Phil I hope you understand that this is all some big misunderstanding, I only loved you OK? Dan meant nothing to me!” PJ started.

“Harsh.” Dan muttered to Ben.

“That’s funny isn’t it Peej my dear, because this message seems to have a similar feel to the ones you sent my boyfriend.” Phil said smirking.

“Your boyfriend? Who the fuck is that? I thought I was your boyfriend.” PJ said.

“You see PJ, I think you’ve been caught up in a love triangle, or technically a love pentagon as I’m pretty sure Ben and Andy are fucking without telling us to be honest.” Phil glanced over at them to see them both looking sheepishly at each other and blushing hard. “Yup I’m actually certain they are. And, you see PJ, you brought us all together, so I must thank you for that. But back to your question, my boyfriend? His name is Dan Howell and he’s fucking stunning. So, as I told you earlier, thanks for bringing us together, oh and being so naive that you didn’t think that me and Dan might be in the same place right now, because in fact we’ve just spent the last ten minutes laughing at the bad messages you’ve sent Dan. Now if you’ll excuse me I think we’re going to laugh at those text messages now.”

“Fuck you.” PJ sneered before hanging up.

“That got rid of him easily.” Dan said, smiling. “Now I think we should check out the texts he sent me earlier.” Dan clicked onto the messages icon.

“Wait, my name in your phone is already Phil with a love heart? How fast do you move boy?” Phil said puzzled.

“Oh yeah about that, it’s been like that pretty much since we met. Sorry.” Dan said, looking sheepish.

“That’s so friggin cute Dan; to be honest your name has had The Cute One in brackets next to it since we met.” Phil said smiling.

“Now as cute as this all is, I want to see what PJ has been sending to ‘The Cute One’ because really this is going to be hilarious.” Ben said.

Dan sighed and clicked onto PJ’s messages.

“Okay first one: Hey Dan answer the phone please? We can sort this out.” Dan read.

“That’s pretty boring, next!” Andy said.

“Dan look this is getting stupid, just come home okay? See you soon.” Dan read

“Ooh he’s getting angry.” Phil said to the camera.

“Dan what are you actually trying to achieve here? Just stop playing around and come home. See you.” Dan read, “Wow he’s getting annoyed.”

The others laughed and urged Dan to read the next one.

“Dan what the fuck are you actually doing, just get your ass home before I come find you myself.” Dan read of his phone.

“Sinister.” Phil commented.

“Dan I swear if you don’t answer the phone soon I’m never going to forgive you. Call me.” Dan said.

“That one is just plain rude to be honest.” Andy said.

“Dan. Home. Now.” Dan read. “That was the last one.”

“Wow, he’s mad.” Phil said, sighing.

“Wait, I just got another text, it says I’m outside now, answer the fucking door Dan.” Dan said, “He can’t be here right?”

Phil walked off down the corridor and opened the front door.

“PJ?” Phil said to the figure at the door.

“Turn that fucking camera off and let me in.” PJ said, pushing past Phil and walking into the living room.

“Ah the whole gang’s here, lovely, now Dan I swear if you don’t put your shoes on and come home with me now I will never speak to you again.” PJ sneered.

“Haven’t you realised yet that I don’t want to speak to you again PJ? None of us want you anymore, get over it.” Dan said, and for emphasis he pulled Phil close and kissed him. “See? Nobody wants you anymore dude.”

“Andy still wants me!” PJ said, stalking over to where Andy and Ben were sat.

“Nah mate, sorry.” Andy said, throwing his arms around Ben’s shoulders, “I found someone who genuinely cares about me.”

“Well Phil definitely still wants me, trust me Dan, Phil is not someone you want to be with.” PJ smiled like he knew something that the others didn’t.

“PJ I’m with Dan, isn’t that obvious?” Phil laughed.

“But will Dan want to be with you once he knows that you knew about him the entire time? Yes Dan, Phil knew about you for a good year before you contacted him, in fact he played the fool because he wanted to keep what we had going. Phil knew that I was with you but kept sleeping with me. Is that really the type of person you want to be with?” PJ sneered.

The room fell silent and all eyes landed on Dan. Dan was pale and staring at Phil.

“PJ I know you’re lying, Phil would never do that to me.”

“Didn’t you ever think it was weird that Phil got in contact with Ben and Andy so quickly? Wasn’t it so strange that he had all these magical plans so fast? Dan I knew you were gullible but I didn’t think you were this bad.” PJ said grinning.

“Phil? Is this true?” Dan questioned.

“Dan, I don’t know what to tell you. Yes I knew that PJ was with other people as well, but I didn’t know everything. I thought he had another person like me that he just slept with occasionally; I didn’t know he had a proper boyfriend.” Phil admitted.

“So let me get this straight, you’re telling me you knew about all this and didn’t tell me until now? How could you?” Dan said, close to tears.

“Dan I knew about some of this but not everything.” Phil said sympathetically.

“But you didn’t tell me?” Dan said, eyes watering.

“I didn’t want you to lose your trust in me.” Phil said sadly, fiddling with his hands.

“Well that’s happened Phil, how could you not tell me?” Dan said, his eyes on Phil as he paced around the room, camera abandoned on the table, tears dripping down his face.

“I’m sorry Dan, it was for the best. I would have told you but I knew you would be mad.” Phil said, “At least I didn’t sleep with three other guys.”

“You were one of those guys though baby, and you knew it was happening.” Dan said laughing slightly.

“See Dan? Come home with me and everything will be OK again.” PJ said lightly, putting his hand on Dan’s shoulder.

“PJ fuck off okay? Leave me alone, I don’t want you anymore! Even though I’m pissed that Phil didn’t tell me he knew about all this I see why he did it, plus how do you even bring that up in a conversation? Phil did it to stop me from getting hurt, while you did all this because you were selfish and greedy. Leave please, we don’t want you anymore. We’re happy and we don’t need you.” Dan said, looking down when he finished. Phil collapsed down next to him and grabbed his hand, causing Dan to look up and smile at him.

PJ looked around the room at the four boys. Andy snuggled up against Ben, his arm around his shoulders, knees tucked up underneath him. Ben looking and smiling at Andy, his head rested on top of Andy’s. Dan leaning on Phil and gripping his hand. Phil placing small kisses on the side of Dan’s face, holding his hand and rubbing circles into his thighs as a form of comfort.

“Fine.” PJ said before spinning on his heel and heading out the room and down the corridor. Nobody spoke until they heard the thud of the front door being slammed shut.

“Glad that’s over.” Ben said, a grin creeping onto his face.

“Does that mean we are finally done and free from him?” Andy asked.

“I think so,” Phil said, “Or at least I hope so, honestly I’d rather keep this cute boy to myself.”

“Oh shut up you goof.” Dan said swatting at Phil lightly, smiling widely. Phil laughed and pulled Dan onto his lap, kissing him gently, staring longingly into his eyes.

“Now that all that is over, anyone fancy going out for some food?”  Andy suggested.

“Me and Dan ate before we went to PJ’s so I think we’ll be fine, but you two go and enjoy yourself.” Phil said smirking.

“Oh okay, I guess we’ll see you both around, if PJ gets in touch with either of you again tell us straight away and we can all sort something out.” Ben said.

“Of course.” Dan said smiling lightly at the couple who were now stood in the doorway.

“Oh and Facebook me the link to the video in the end, I can’t wait to see it!” Ben remembered.

“Yeah sure guys, I’ll post a link on my twitter and everything as well, if you want to retweet it or post a link yourself we can get the video out to as many people as possible, embarrassing him as much as we could.” Phil reasoned.

“Well we’ll be going now, see you guys soon.” Ben said as him and Andy started to walk down the hallway in the direction of the door.

“Bye!” Dan and Phil both called down the hall after them. Dan climbed on top of Phil’s hips and slung his arms around Phil’s neck.

“Daaaan. I have editing to do if we want to get this video up by the end of the night.” Phil whined.

“It can wait until tomorrow surely, come on Phil, I want you so bad.” Dan said, leaning forward to rest his forehead against Phil’s.

“It can’t Dan sorry, I promised the viewers the finale in the cheating series tonight and the video is going to take a few hours to edit, plus it’s already 9pm. I need to start editing now to get it done tonight.” Phil said, prising Dan off his lap and onto the sofa next to him, before pulling his face towards him and kissing him softly. “As much as making out with you all night on the sofa sounds amazing, I have a job to do.”

“Fine. But don’t think I won’t distract you or anything. Because honestly I think I’m more important than that video right now.” Dan smirked.

“Fine, but I have good headphones and I will lock myself in a room and block you out.” Phil smiled, love showing in his eyes.

“Ugh you’re so annoying.” Dan said, a smile sweeping across his face and he watched Phil stand up, pick up the camera that had been abandoned on the table and walk out the stairs. Dan followed quickly up the stairs, picking up Phil’s laptop that he had left on the sofa.

“Phil!” Dan shouted, “You might need your laptop!” Phil turned around and stared down the stairs at Dan who was stood halfway up the stairs, leaning against the wall, holding his laptop in his arms.

“You know I think that video can wait a while.” Phil said, making his way slowly down the stairs.

“I agree with you Philip.” Dan said innocently.

“Yes Daniel, in fact I have something else that is much more urgent to attend to.” Phil said as he reached Dan, staring into his eyes unblinking.

“And what could that be baby?” Dan asked.

“I have this boyfriend you see, who has been bugging me all evening, and even though letting him get what he wants will make him think he can get it all the time, I actually agree with what he wants this time.” Phil smiled.

“Is that so? That’s very lucky for said boyfriend then isn’t it?” Dan said smirking.

“It is, isn’t it?” Phil said, grabbing Dan by the collar and pulling him through the threshold of the room and shutting the door behind them.

 

**Author's Note:**

> And that was it! Thank you for reading.  
> Also sorry for making PJ a dick I don't think PJ is truly like this I'm sure he's lovely.


End file.
